Me, myself and I…Venya

This post is just for you to get to know me.  Hhmm, what can I tell you about me?  Well I can tell you that I am a young woman of Indian descent who is finally taking the step towards sharing her story (after much deliberation!).  I am born and raised in the western world and very well versed in both of my cultures.  Most of my troubles have come from the clash of both of my worlds.  I would like you to understand that I LOVE both of my world.  They both, like anything, have pros and cons.  I am a child of immigrants in the western world.  This meant my childhood and most of my life has been spent trying to make them understand the culture they are currently living in.  In the case they didn’t want to hear me out, I had to BREAK the barriers down between us, that didn’t really go all to well with them :(.

I grew up watching Oprah Winfrey and would day dream about having my own TV show one day.  I would comment out loud on how she brings so many issues out into the open and one day I would do the same for other girls who needed me and my dad would turn off the TV or change the channel.  Apparently Oprah was going to turn me into a bad girl, a girl with a voice and expectations from this world.  Every chance I got I watched her show and looked forward to the next episode.  I remember sitting in my living room and thinking about my décor in my studio would be different from Oprah’s but our ideas would be the same, talking about issues that others would like to ignore.  So from a young age, when people would ask what I would like to be one of my answers was the Indian Oprah (I still say it!).   For relatives sakes, I was going to be a Dr. or a lawyer,  for friends a journalist (Oprah) for others, whatever came to mind.  But deep down inside me there was  a baby Oprah that needed a womb to be nurtured in to become alive.  That never happened.  I haven’t given up just yet, anything can still happen!

I have always loved sports, I try to be active as much as possible but these days I’m run off my feet with my own family that I don’t have time.  I used to wrestle and play rugby with all boys, yes that did not go so well with my family.  Soccer, basketball, skating, rollerblading, volleyball, badminton etc. I did it all.  I still love long walks, shooting hoops with my kids, Frisbee, badminton, volleyball – you name it, I will play it.  I like movies rather than TV.  I love reading all kinds of books.  I am the type who can’t put the book down until I’ve finished reading so at times, reading can be a problem.  I do enjoy my domesticated side of cooking and baking as well.  I love being with my family and friends just hanging out with no real agenda.

I am a mother of two of the most beautiful human beings in the world.  My first born is my miracle baby.  Miracle baby because, it is because of that child I am in the world today. (Long story, but I’ll get to it soon)  My second is my rock in everyway.  I would have liked to have more children but again the circumstances life presents us with change our wants and desires.  I have gone through quite a bit in my life and its’ because of these two creatures that I keep chugging along and trying to make the most of this life.  They give me hope and desire to be something and be proud of whatever I choose to be.

I am married, yes it was an introduced arranged marriage.  I had met several other men who I had denied my hand or they refused my hand.  These denials/refusals came about for a variety of reasons, family life, careers, location etc.   In the end I ended up with the person I thought would be the perfect life partner. I met him one afternoon and 4 months later I married a man I had only met 4 times in my entire life!  We did have numerous telephone conversations but the meetings were infrequent.

I have a couple of siblings.  I am the middle child, the cream of the crop or the oreo cookie centre 🙂 I have an older brother who is the golden child (I’m still the favourite child), purely because of his sex.  My brother has what I call the “Indian boy syndrome” which is entitlement based on his genitals and nothing else to back up his beliefs.  I have a younger sister who is the baby and my “go to” person.  I envy and congratulate her as she has lived on mostly her terms learning from me what NOT to do.

I have a college education that I gained only after I got married at a very young age.  My dad didn’t want to send me away to university as a single young woman who could be damaged.  His solution,  married me off and let someone else deal with the burden of  a girl who could bring shame to his family.   I did the best I could in school while having a child and in laws who didn’t make any step in my life easy. Needless to say, I gave up on the school thing within a couple of years.  I just couldn’t keep up with a one year old, in laws demands, homework, and a non-existent husband.  I threw in the towel and made the best of whatever life presented me with. 

I work an average job with an average salary nothing spectacular.  I am the person who loves going into work no matter what day it is.  Work is place I enjoy, partly because I can be social there and partly because I can somewhat channel my energy into something positive.   My real calling in life is life coaching, talk show host, mentor, etc.  Working with people and helping them realize their potentials is what I think I would be excellent in.  Many times I have been complimented that I am very inspirational and easy to talk to.  People tell me their secrets and ask for guidance and advice regularly.

I have a love for life.  I think all the obstacles that I have gone through has made me who I am today.  I try to do good for others, help whenever I can, be non judgemental and hopefully just be a support in anyway possible.  I think because I know what it feels like to be alone, I want to help others to know they have someone. The following quote describes what I’m trying to say the best:

“People wonder why I give so many compliments out to strangers.  I’m not being fake and I’m not looking for people to like me.  But if I pass someone and I like something, I say it.  Love those shoes! or Great hair! or Wow your eyes are beautiful! Why?  Because life is hard and this world can be a shitty place and people are mean.  You never know how much those few words mean to someone, you never know what hell they may be going through and  you put positivity out there into the universe YOU yourself become a happier person.  It’s hard to be nice and be miserable yourself.  It’ll reflect from the outside in… I’m telling you random compliment giving will change your life and maybe someone else’s too.” 

I have taken up the habit to be just kind to the world.  My journey, from the day I was born until today, has made me who I am.  At times I look back and see why things happened they way they did, I needed to become Venya…

I will be back with more next time!!! Let me know if there is anything I missed.

-Venya

 

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