Demon inside me

There is a demon that lives inside me.  At times it just wants to rip my body apart to come out.  I wear my makeup flawlessly but if one was to peel back the layers of make believe beauty they would be taken a back.  My exterior hides the demon day in and day out but I can read the demons mind.  It wants to show all my scars and weeping wounds.  It wants to expose my feelings, the real me, the me that very few know.  It wants to tear down the walls that I have so carefully laid the bricks for.  It wants to prove that I’m a liar for always lying about the demon inside me, always hiding it as if nothing is stirring inside.

The demons wants to lash out at the world.   It wants to break all the unbreakable!!! It wants to rip apart anything that looks beautiful in search of its demons.  It wants to yell and scream at everyone and everything and ask them, “can’t you see it’s not fucking okay?!?!?” Everything looks perfect to the naked eye, but it’s not.   The demon wants to say there’s more to it than meets the eye!  Look deeper into me!  Seek and you shall find! I hate pretending to be so fucking perfect because I’m not and I’m dying pretending too be.   The demon is telling me to lash out at the world and scratch the eyes out of those who contributed to the demons existence.  It wants me to tell the truths, take  a hammer to things and people, it wants me to show the world that I too can stand up for myself.  It wants me to help others unleash their demons too with absolute rage!

I shake off the feeling of the demon erupting.  Cry to myslef, curse in quiet and walk out with another million dollar smile.  The world around me can never see the demon just yet… the world or I are not quite ready.  I hope the demon never comes out but I think it may, its inevitable.   It has left a few times in the past just to get a taste of what’s it’s like to be unleashed.  It’s never been completely out of control but it tries to get it’s way with me.  I’m not sure how long I can contain it.   Until then I must walk about as if I’m only human not half demon.

Why am I hiding the demon, is it really for the better?  What will happen when it decides to leave my body forever? 

Venya ♥

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