La La Land

Being positive doesn’t mean you live in la la land.  Positive people have real problems.  They get angry, sad, emotional, depressed and frustrated.  There are even some days they feel hopeless with no solutions.  They challenge people and fight hard for what they believe in.  Positivity is not about wearing rose-coloured glasses and rolling over when the going get tough.  It’s about being strong.  It’s about being self aware and accountable for your emotional state.

I’m using the above quote as an opener to my post today.  Why?  Because I believe in it.

People often say to me, “you are one of the  most positive people I know!”.  My inner voice rolls my eyes for me and say’s if  you only knew the truth.  My outside voice says, “I try!” and I top if off with a huge smile leaving no doubt in their mind.  I guess it’s true, I do try AND I try VERY hard AND consciously I try to be positive.   There aren’t many things that I can’t find a positive twist too.

What I would like to tell people is the truth.  Unfortunately, I’m not quite ready to do so.  I want to tell them that I have been through way to much unnecessary bullshit.  I want to tell them that I have almost died.  I want to tell them, I make a conscious choice EVERY single day to be positive.  I make the choice not to let my past be my future.  Instead,  I let my past be my lessons for my tomorrow.   I have learned over the years, to be happy with everything I have and everyone I have in my life.   I have learned things can change in an instant from good to bad and vice versa.  I have had many days where I went from waking up and feeling good and that good day was turned bad in an instant.  Bad days don’t have to dictate the rest of my week, month, year or life.  I have learned, all things must come to an end, even the not so great things.  That’s why I’m so positive.  I know that the storm will pass.  Some days it stays longer than it’s comfortable but it will pass.

When I look back and relive some of my situations, I myself don’t know how I managed to “get over it”, but I did.  I think I did because I looked forward.  I think I did because I know when things are bad for me, they are a thousand times worse for someone else, I’m grateful.  I think I did because those feelings of depression didn’t last forever, I managed to smile in between.  I think I did because I have learned,  love myself before I can be anything in this world.  I think I did because I have learned from other’s mistakes.  I think I did because, there are so many role models who changed their lives just by their thoughts.  I think I did, because I learned how to channel my energy into good.  I think I did because I wanted too.  I think I did because I was ready too.

It’s when I became aware of my emotional state that I learned how to be positive, not the roll over and die kind.  The kind where, this too shall pass.  I started to understand my downward spiral and then learned how to refocus it quickly before I sank too low.  I knew being depressed and upset at the world would only make things worse for myself and those around me.  My “ugly” feelings couldn’t and wouldn’t be a solution.  Without the positive steps I couldn’t get those ugly feelings to go away.  Only choice?  Positivity.

I get sad and go to my emotional caves some days, let’s face it, this life has way too many curve balls.  There are things and people beyond our controls but their actions still affect us, directly and indirectly.  There are days when I wander the streets looking for answers only to realize, my mindset is the answer.  There are days that I would like to rage at the world, but what would that accomplish?  There are days that I feel no hope or no point to this life.  Then the Positive switch flips on and says, there is tomorrow, this is not forever, this too shall pass.  And most of all this does not have to be the end. 

I feel more empowered being positive than I do being negative.  I can’t help myself when I’m negative, how can I help anyone else???  I can choose to be positive because I know only good can come from it.  When I’m positive I can lift myself and those around me, when I’m negative I can’t even lift my feet.  Being positive just feels better, less burdened.  Being positive hasn’t taken any of my problems away, it’s just given me the ability to deal with them better.  I still have shit loads to deal with, I would rather doing it smiling (if I can) than angry and dishevelled. 

I stand up for myself and my beliefs positively looking for solutions. Standing up for myself to create war or any negativity wouldn’t work as well.  I stand up for myself knowing that there might be an emotional battle in my head.  But I welcome this battle because I have learned being positive will take me into places that anger/negative people can’t get to, serenity and peace within. 

I have always had problems, I have resolved many issues and there are many battles ahead.  It’s positively, (wink,wink) how I deal with everything that’s going to dictate my life. 

I have finally stamped my emotional passport with positivity, that’s the only route to inner peace, my journey has begun. 

-Venya ♥

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