Mums the word

With Mothers Day around the corner I am super excited!  Excited because I can’t wait to see what the day holds for me as a mom.  I’m even more excited to reach out to those around me who are my fill in moms.  Moms that I will be either visiting or sending out messages to this weekend.

First in line is my first love, my mom.  She and I have a long history together, even before the world met me. 🙂   She is a beautiful mother inside and on the inside.  My mom is a soft hearted person who forgives the world no matter how they’ve wronged her.  I have inherited this trait and it’s not a good trait, we get walked all over.  She loved me, hugged me and gave me the best guidance to the best of her ability.  She was proud of me and encouraging when I needed her to be.  There were times when I really needed her support and she wasn’t supportive, in hindsight, she tried the best she could.  I have been reflecting our relationship the last few days.  My mom and I have had many ups and down, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.  I do wish my mom was stronger emotionally for me, I wish she stood up for me more against the world, I wish she saw my point more often.  I wish she had a voice against my dad when I needed her to.  For all those not so great moments, I found other mothers to fill in the void.  She is completely irreplaceable but, at times I did take comfort in others while growing up.  In my twenties she became my best friend and still is.  I love her to death and when the time comes when she will be gone, a part of me will die with her.

Growing up was hard with my mom,  being first generation in the western world.  This meant my parents didn’t understand/accept some ways of the world they decided to create a life in.  Their choice of country meant struggles for their children which gave me no choice but turn to those who can understand me and my struggles.  I chose 2 of my best friends moms to be my fill in mom through my high school years.  Those two beautiful ladies were my confidants and my advisors.  Anytime my mom couldn’t understand my needs, I turned to them. They would hug me and kiss me like their own, I’m forever grateful for them.

Then there was an aunt of mine, who didn’t have a daughter of her own.  I was her fill in daughter.  She would incorporate me in the household and I loved that I was the center of attention there.  With her I did nothing extraordinary, in fact when I look back I think she used me as a cleaning service!!!  Her house gave me a safe place to be and talk about how my “parents didn’t get it”.  She was the perfect distraction for me when it got tough at home.  Thank you mammiji.

My massiji (mom’s sister) is wasn’t around in my childhood due to distance.  In my adult hood she arrived to play her role.  When I’m hungry and want homemade Indian food, I call massi.  When I can’t locate my mom, I call massi.  When I’m frustrated with my mom and her ways, I call massi to set me straight.  She is a sounding board, a cook and a place to lean my head on when I don’t want to share my feelings.  When I don’t get my mom, massi makes me understands.  She fills me in on why my mom is the way she is.  She is my mom’s lawyer and biggest fan.  Thanks massiji for allowing me to be in your life and you being a part of mine. 

Just call me parent stealer!  I have created some beautiful bonds with some of my friends families,  their mothers in particular.  A couple of the moms treat me like a child of the their households.  They think of me as one of them, therefore I get invites to family functions all the time!  I love that I have been embraced by people other than my blood relatives!  I have heart to hearts with them with ALMOST no boundaries.  We laugh, eat and talk together as if we’ve known each other for a lifetime. 

I feel so blessed that I have had so many great women in my life as my support system.  While growing up, I didn’t think these women were playing such an instrumental role in my life.   Being so young, I didn’t realize what gems I had in my pocket!  Now is the time for me to be thankful for each and every women who helped me get to where I am today. 

I am and will be forever grateful for their presences.  I can only hope that my daughter  will be surrounded by loving women as I was and still am.  I couldn’t imagine life without them nor do I want to think about it.


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