Day after Mothers Day

Hello!  I woke up this morning tired but extremely grateful.  Mother’s Day was a success.  My kids did the best they could (1 could have done better, not mentioning any names…) with what they have.  It consisted of beautiful wall art and a heartfelt card from one and a mumbled Mother’s Day wish from the other.  I asked the mumbling one, what would happen to your life if I put in that much effort into being a mother to you.   What if I did just the bare minimum?  I don’t think he really cares at this point in his life, I just hope he comes around in his early twenties!  

I am wondering out loud about what the future holds for me as a mother not just as a person.  Once the kids are old enough to move on, how will I keep myself busy.  Will they talk to me, fit me into their busy schedules or even think of me?  This is my fear.  I have put my blood, sweat and tears into these two, will they be grateful?  I don’t do what I do for them for anything in return, but a mom can hope and wish.  I just want them to include me in their lives as some sort of priority.  I know I shouldn’t worry so much, as only time will tell.  I relish these moments and days with them, no one knows what tomorrow holds.

My silent promise to my kids is, I will TRY not to be the needy, obsessive, demanding or controlling with my adult children.  I will try my best to be loving, supportive, nurturing and understanding.  I love being around people, who better to spend your time with then your hand made family?  I don’t ever want to be without my spawns or feel lonely and useless in my old age.  I would like to be a part of their families and to continue these magical moments until my last breath.   At least try to care for half of much as I did for you.

In the meantime I will continue to be the best daughter and daughter in law to my current government.  I do believe, you reap what you sow so.  I need to make sure I sow exactly what I would like to reap one day!


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