Hello! I woke up this morning tired but extremely grateful. Mother’s Day was a success. My kids did the best they could (1 could have done better, not mentioning any names…) with what they have. It consisted of beautiful wall art and a heartfelt card from one and a mumbled Mother’s Day wish from the other. I asked the mumbling one, what would happen to your life if I put in that much effort into being a mother to you. What if I did just the bare minimum? I don’t think he really cares at this point in his life, I just hope he comes around in his early twenties!
I am wondering out loud about what the future holds for me as a mother not just as a person. Once the kids are old enough to move on, how will I keep myself busy. Will they talk to me, fit me into their busy schedules or even think of me? This is my fear. I have put my blood, sweat and tears into these two, will they be grateful? I don’t do what I do for them for anything in return, but a mom can hope and wish. I just want them to include me in their lives as some sort of priority. I know I shouldn’t worry so much, as only time will tell. I relish these moments and days with them, no one knows what tomorrow holds.
My silent promise to my kids is, I will TRY not to be the needy, obsessive, demanding or controlling with my adult children. I will try my best to be loving, supportive, nurturing and understanding. I love being around people, who better to spend your time with then your hand made family? I don’t ever want to be without my spawns or feel lonely and useless in my old age. I would like to be a part of their families and to continue these magical moments until my last breath. At least try to care for half of much as I did for you.
In the meantime I will continue to be the best daughter and daughter in law to my current government. I do believe, you reap what you sow so. I need to make sure I sow exactly what I would like to reap one day!