Let’s go back in time from my last post, Choora = Handcuffs. Life is hard enough; I’m not sure why people create more hardships than necessary. My groom to be had taken me out for lunch about 6 days before the wedding. This lunch was for him to introduce me to his best friend who wanted to meet me before the wedding festivities started. As soon as I met her, my gut was telling me something was not right. I put on my smile and thought; it was just nerves, telling myself to relax. My body knew better than my head. This lunch date was not exactly giving me the fuzzy feelings I usually get when I meet new people. The start to lunch was very awkward and uncomfortable for me. I had only met him 3 times prior to date and now he had brought along his female best friend who I was getting a “bad” feeling from, not my idea of a good time!
I have always been good at conversing with strangers, so I made small talk. But, that bad gut feeling was just not going away! She was pounding back drink after drink and my stranger of a fiancé was advising her not to drink too much and too eat. What good friends they were! They really do take care of each other! At some point in our lunch my groom has to use the little boys room. His trip to bathroom will be the most unforgettable bathroom trip ever for both of us.
While he was in the bathroom his best friend starting asking me all sorts of questions. This was her opportunity to really get the goods about me. She stated she was really confused as to why he would be marrying me in a weeks’ time.
Her first question was, “what did he tell you about me?” Me, “You two have been friends for years and that you are not attending the wedding but you wanted to meet me.” She starts to laugh in my face. Obviously I am sick to my stomach. She continues,”What else has he said about me?” Me: “Not much, except that your best friends and he’s not inviting many of his friends to the wedding. He said you and him are very close and you wanted to make sure that him and I would be a good match.” More laughter and smirking from her, at this point I’m gonna throw up! Then she starts talking and laughing at me, all I could do is just listen. “He’s lying to you. We’re not best friends! That’s my boyfriend of the last 4 years! You are going to marry my boyfriend because his parents no longer like me, you’re the fill in wife. We have been living together for the past couple of years. Did he not tell you that and your marrying him? We have broken up off and on but he still has sex with me. How come he didn’t tell you that he and I are in a relationship, that’s weird? I love him and have for a very long time and he loves me. Did you know he furnished our place for us? Him and I have a home together, a home where he has bought me everything I asked for? Just so you know, most of the clothes he has, I’ve picked out or bought for him, he didn’t tell you? He and I were supposed to get married, but his parents have changed their minds about me. Maybe you should get to know him more before you marry him this Saturday.
My head was spinning, I thought I was going to die, I wanted to run out of there. But at the same time, I wanted to cut off her hair , punch her and kick her. I wanted to smash shit, anything that could be destroyed. I wanted to hurt her and others as she and him had just done to me.
He walks back to the table, looks around and can tell that things are different from before he left. He pays for the lunch and walk back to the car. I have gone silent, she is happy, chatting away with him and he is trying to make small talk with me. The car ride was the worst ever, to be stuck with the two of them. He drops her off first and then it’s just the two of us. Again and again he tries to make small talk, I have nothing to say to him, my responses are nil to non-existent. After what seemed like an eternity, he parks outside my house and asks if everything is okay. I turn around to meet his eyes and ask him, “Why the fuck would you go and get me checked out by your current girlfriend?!!? I don’t want to marry you, I’m going inside and telling my parents what you are up to and what you have done. Marry her not me, I’m no one, you’ve dated her for 4 years!!!” He begs and pleads with me just to listen. I want no part of it. He starts talking, “She was my girlfriend and we are just friends now. She had said if she didn’t meet you, she would show up at the wedding. I did what I had to do and you just have to understand it’s for the better. Please don’t tell your parents, she is gone away forever, I promise. Don’t ruin things, you’re the kind of girl I want to marry not her. I am choosing you as a wife, to be a part of the family, to start my own family with. She is my ex for a reason, you’re my future. I want a girl like you; you’re so nice and kind. You’re the kind of wife I need and want. ” He continues with the bullshit, I just sit there and cry, actually I sob, WHY ME?
Even writing this is so sad for me, tears are welling in my eyes. Why did he do this to me, how come I was the target of such cruelty? Why, why and why? It’s been so many years but it seems like yesterday, I wish I could turn back time. The same self-pity I felt way back then I’m feeling right now. I’ve come to terms with my past but I guess I’m still human and tears are there to help me deal with my reality.
I walk out of his car and say, I never want to see you again, you’re a lying piece of shit and you don’t deserve me in any capacity. He’s still saying something, I have no clue because I’m not paying attention to his words. I’m looking at him in disgust and thinking you’re the type of guy who ruins young girls’ lives in order to please himself and his family. I’m staring at him, I want to smash him and his car into a million pieces. I would like to never see this man ever again in my entire life!!! How could you be so selfish to want to have both women at the same time? Why would you willing ruin a girls life??? What did I ever do to you? I don’t even know you, we’ve only met 3 times, why? I go inside my house, looking like shit because I’ve been crying for the last hour. I close the door behind me, my shoes are still on and I yell out, MOM as loud as I could through my tears.
Too be continued…