The woman known as my mother in law was relentless in emotionally abusing me! Did she honestly think that I was sleeping with my father in law??? Was she that crazy or evil? Needless to say, the household became very uncomfortable. Dad avoided me like the plague after those gross accusations and I was always finding ways to prove that I was innocent. I tried to make nice with my mother in law more than ever, and also kept my distant from dad, her husband. My husband was too busy with his girlfriend to notice what was going on so I was all alone. I had no one, no family, no friends, no husband – I had nothing. I didn’t tell Raj about the accusations because I believed there was no point, he didn’t care enough to even be around the house for my sake to begin with.
My only friend was Sunny, Raj’s younger brother. He became my confidante, my go to guy, my just for laughs man. Dad would give us money and tell us to go eat something, grab coffee or ice cream. He told me what was going on his world and got much needed advice! I helped him pick clothing, gave him money so he could take his girlfriend out on dates, helped with his career goals and everything else a sister does for a younger brother. I would cook his vegetarian meals for him separately as he preferred North American food to Indian food. I did his laundry (I did everyone’s), helped him clean his room and tried to keep the guy organized. We had an excellent relationship.
He would even give me information on his brother’s girlfriend! I came to know much about her through Sunny and his friends. They all would tell me stories of her clothing, habits and her personality was. They would do a comparison between me and her, I would always be the one they pick! They made me feel like Raj is the one who was blind and was losing out on a good woman. Sunny was great to hang out with and was good for my heart.
The only thing I didn’t like about his was that he was so lazy! He would sleep into the afternoon and then not do much of anything. To date, the guy has never had a job! He is a father of 3 with no job and no desire for one either. Presently he is living off the bank of dad! Back to earlier years, he was lazy then and he is still lazy now. Some days I would jump up and down on him to wake him up. Other days I would rip the comforter off him. I was always harassing him to get out of bed so we could go and do something.
While I was being playful with my brother in law my mother in law was secretly making up all these theories about our relationship. One of the days I was sitting on Sunny trying to wake him, my mother in law came screaming inside at me. She started accusing me of first sleeping with her husband and now I was sleeping her son! I couldn’t believe my ears, did she just accuse me of sleeping with another person who wasn’t my husband??? Yes she did!
“Are there any men in our family that you will leave alone or are you going to steal all of them? You took my husband, you married my eldest and now you’re stealing my youngest! Aren’t you ashamed of sleeping with your husband’s younger brother??? He is just a kid, you should know better! (Sunny and I are the same age) Girls like you should be on the street somewhere selling their bodies not married in to respectful homes to ruin the men!” Did she just suggest prostitution as a career? Yes she did!
She went on and on as I continually interrupted her trying to defend myself. She wasn’t interested in listening to what I had to say. Sunny just pulled the comforter over his head and hid. He should have fought for me but he didn’t. I cried, and cried and of course I didn’t tell a soul. Why did she think I was such a whore? Why did she think I was sleeping with all the men in their family? My husband, her son, was the one committing adultery not me! Can she not see that? I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong as a 20 year girl. This marriage, this house, these people were a living nightmare!!!
The next day, I found some alone time with Sunny and we talked about the allegations and his only response was, “She’s crazy, ignore her. She says stupid things all the time. Who knows what she’s thinking. We know we are just siblings so relax. But in front of her let’s try not to talk too much. She will mental on all of us.” I agreed to not really talking in front of her or anyone anymore. Another lie for me to start living….
Lies so far:
My husband loves me and is faithful to me – he has another woman whom he wanted to marry but didn’t because she wasn’t the right caste
Hubby would never lay a hand on my, I’m his wife – he hits me every time he feels like it, throw me around like a rag doll
I don’t care for my father in law – I care for him very much! He’s just like my dad, he’s everything a father in law should be!
I don’t speak or care about my brother in law – I love him! He is the baby brother I always wanted! We have so much in common, he agrees with me on most things and cheers me up when I down because of his brother.
I was happy with this arranged marriage – there was nothing I liked about this marriage. I only had a husband when he needed me, my mother in law hated me, I was locked up inside and I had no one to talk to.
My mother in law treats me like her own child – she is verbally and emotionally abusive to me every chance she gets, she hates me and I don’t know why
Wasn’t sure what was to come next, at this point no one was really talking to me in the house. Sunny would talk to me secretly, mother in law when she needed something and dad avoided me. Husband dearest was never around to talk to me.
21, unhappily married, all alone and nowhere to turn how was I going to live the rest of my life like this????