All this talk about what is and isn’t consent is driving me crazy! What’s all the confusion for?!?!? I’ve heard some really interesting thoughts on how to figure it out. Really, its quite simple! This is for men (or women) who don’t understand what consent is and how it feels when you don’t want something or maybe not even know how to stop it.
Put a straight guy in a room full of gay men who find him attractive or just haven’t had sex in awhile. When the gay men approach him or grope him or say things or encourage him “to try” it will be fine, he will get the idea of boundaries and what consent is. I truly believe this will teach them what it feels like to consent or not to consent. We can even make it fun for this lesson in consent. There can be scenarios like lots of alcohol, promotion for a job, revealing clothes (love a hairy chest!), walking in the park/trail, waiting for the bus, at a party with your friends, sleepover at a friends house etc. Would love to hear the straight mans comments after a couple of these encounters. I wonder if they would report it to anyone?
A little trick for women to try at home with their men who are confused about consent. Try putting a finger (or toy) up your mans ass during sex, you’ll know at that time they actually understand consent, withdrawal of consent and sexual boundaries very well. There is no confusion when it’s their bodies but with women’s bodies they don’t understand? Maybe this can help them figure it out. Maybe they will like it and they don’t know they would like it or maybe they will do it to make you happy and regret it later or maybe they won’t know how to say no or stop you. I wonder if they will report it to anyone?
Another idea we can try. Let a straight man drink an excessive amount of alcohol and let a gay man make love to him without sober consent. When he wakes up to semen on his face and ass full of semen, another man next to him, what will he do? Will he gather all is clothes and say thanks for a great night or will he run out ashamed or will he want to punch him in the face? Do you think he will report it?
Just a few thoughts, so tired of this “what is consent” game. This is my suggestion going forward, put straight men with gay men and they will easily see what consent is all about. If you have any better ideas let me know so we can share with the world and hopefully figure out this consent thing.
I personally have had my experiences with men who weren’t sure if I consented or not but went ahead anyway. Would love to see them really learn consent through a practicum. And no, I didn’t report it… even if I had nothing would have happened in my favor.