The night of the silk turquoise negligée

I picked the prettiest silk turquoise negligée, put it on and entered the bedroom. I stood in the doorway just for a minute to see if I could capture his attention without saying word.  It didn’t work.  How could it not have worked?  I was freshly showered with coconut lotion all over my caramel skinned body, a scent strong enough to catch anyone’s attention.  My strong long legs were smooth as a baby’s bottom, with my hair tousled over my shoulders.  The lip glossed tasted like passion fruit paired perfectly with smoky eyes, which could resist?  The negligée formed to my body perfectly, outlining every single curve.   I could feel my nipples rubbing against the silk; I was aroused by the sensations. I wasn’t getting the welcome I thought I would get so I brought attention to me.

“Um, excuse me. Could you listen to what I have to say?”  He looked up and didn’t say a single word.  His eyes did all the talking, I saw him devouring my body with his eyes, perfect!  I turned around slowly and closed the door behind me letting him get a look at my back side.  I wanted him to take in the curves of my perfectly shaped ass and salivate just thinking about grabbing me around the waist from behind.  With my back still turned to him I looked down at the ground, exposing the nape of my neck.  I knew he loved seeing me exposed yet covered with next to nothing on my body.  “Are you just going to stand there with your back to me or you going to come to me?” I could hear the excitement in his voice.  “Your choice, you could either come to me or I can join you on the bed?”

Without answering me, he gets out of bed and presses up against me. He starts to kiss the back of my neck while holding on to my bare shoulders. I can feel the pressure building up from him on my back side.  I was already feeling very sexy and now I was starting to get ready for him between my legs.   His kisses started to trail down my body from behind with his hands parallel to his mouth.   He stops and pays extra attention to my lower back; he knows I’m super sensitive there.  I start to squirm in pleasure under his strong willing hands, waiting him to move on to the next part of me.  He grabs me by the hips and outlines my curves with roaming his hands.  Through my negligée he’s gently biting my back side while his hands have slipped under it, it’s driving me wild.   Throwing my head back, I hug the wall while feeling him pull my negligée up around my hips.  He starts to ravage my back side with his mouth, his mouth, tongue and gentle teeth are driving my senses in to over drive.  Standing on his knees he buries his face into my area, as though he couldn’t get deep enough he bend me over.  I love it when he devours me like a hungry animal!  My backside is no longer sufficient for him; he flips me over, still standing up against the wall.  Throwing one of my legs over his shoulder he goes down and eats me like he hasn’t had a meal in days.  His intensity for my pussy makes me want it even more.  Loosing myself in the sensation between my legs I moan and groan as he hits every nerve perfectly.  My head rested against the wall, arched back and his head in place with my hand, not wanting him to move an inch.


I touch myself how I would want him to touch me, feeling my nipples under my hand. At this point I wish there were 2 men servicing my every need.  One man to be attentive to my hot wet pussy, the other kissing me wildly while I hang on to him as he touches me in all the right places, the 2 driving me to insanity. For now I will take this and enjoy it to its full potential, thoughts of a threesome continue in my head making me crazy for love.  Before I know what’s happening, I comes so hard, it exhaust me, my pussy throbbing with ecstasy at its lips.  He looks up at me, I can see my leftovers on his face, and I pull him up to me.  My musky scent is all over his face; I breathe it in and devour his lips laced with me.  My own scent is getting me aroused again, so much so I push him onto the bed and straddle him.  Through my turquoise negligée he feels my breasts, he sits up and playfully bites them through the silk.  I want more, I take it off and let him touch, bite and suck me as he pleases enjoying every touch.  He grabs my hair, pulls my head back biting my neck and breasts.  At the same time he’s slipped himself into me, I gently rock on top of him trying to get the most pleasure I can from this man.  He continues to kiss my passionately all over while I grind on top of him, I can feel myself coming again.  Already?!?!  His manhood was about to erupt as well, I could feel his hurried thrusts and the pulses within me got stronger.  He let out a sigh and before you knew it we were both done.  I stayed on top of him, intertwined, my legs around his back as he sat up, head on his shoulders with my arms wrapped around his neck.  We leaned into each other for support and I gently rocked on top as was still feeling the aftermath of the sex.  What a feeling to feel so wanted by a man and for him to devour every piece of me!  Out of this world!  Kissing with warmth and love we untangled ourselves from our sweaty bodies to underneath the sheets. I guess we both got what we wanted, thank you turquoise negligée!

Now back to reality, I got dressed in the silk turquoise negligée and slipped into bed beside him. This was a big risk, after all he wasn’t really mine, although I did have a piece of paper indicating he was my husband.  I tried to get his attention; he wouldn’t even really look at me.  I persistently but playfully tried to get him to interact with me.  He was too busy with his magazine and phone; there was no room for me.  My playfulness turned into hurt feelings.  My head was going crazy, was I really that ugly and unattractive?  If so then how come everywhere I went I got compliments?  If so, how come I had a mile long wedding proposals?  If so, they why had I always heard that I was the prettiest in the family?  If so why did people look and me and say I had all the right looks???  What was wrong with me?!?!?  I started to ask him what’s wrong with me, he said nothing. I sat up in bed and asked why he was ignoring me, his response was nothing.  I kept asking why he was doing this to me, I was too young at 20 to have this sort of treatment in the bedroom.

He looked at me square in the eyes and slapped me right across the face.



Post Honeymoon

12 days in the Caribbean can make anyone forget their reality, isn’t that what vacations are supposed to do, make us forget our real lives??? This vacation cliché worked on me! Clear blue waters, endless bottles of alcohol, sleeping in, sun bathing by the pool, meals prepped for you and having no schedule helped me ignore the fact I was married to someone that was entirely wrong for me.  The first few days back from our honeymoon went by quickly.  His family was still in town, they wanted to hit all the tourist attractions so we had a lot of sightseeing to do with them.  Real life didn’t kick in until about a month after I was actually married.  During that period his family was still in town, we had many dinners, chai’s and chatter to focus on rather than the issues bothering me.

Raj and I settled in some sort of routine. He would set out for work every day in the morning dressed in a suit and tie and then return some time in the evening.  I would spend time with the out of town guests around meals and other visitors until the dinner dishes were done.  Sometime around that he would come home and hang out with the relatives, other nights he would come home, change and then leave again.  I would always be crushed when he did this.  I knew there was nothing between us but some casual sex but I still had expectations, those expectations nearly killed me.  When he would come home and leave, I always knew where he was going, to see his girlfriend.  My gut told me that she was with him when he wasn’t with me.  I would persistently ask him questions about his whereabouts and he would never answer properly except, with friends.  It broke my heart every time he left me in the middle of his family to fend for myself.  Why couldn’t he just take me along and drop me off somewhere and then just pick me up???  I hated pretending to be happy with his family while inside I was so sad.  I hated that I actually liked his family because I resented him for forcing me stay alone with them while he was out with her.  Many times I went to my bedroom, would have a quick cry, fix my makeup and walk out and join the scene as if all was well.   How come none of the family ever asked him where he was going or to stay and join us or even how about, take your fucking wife with you!  I played house in front of the world but in my head I was so confused as to what to do with my feelings.


1 month in and I didn’t like what marriage was. He would go to work.  I would cook, clean and entertain for his family all three meals.  He would come home change and at times he would leave again and some days he stayed around.  The days he would leave me I would fall asleep waiting and he would return well into the early morning hours.  I would wake up and ask questions about his life and what’s going on and he would brush me off and the cycle continued day in and day out.  A few times Raj and I had heated exchanges but for the most part we were on our best behaviour because the houseguests were still here and listening to everything.

Once the guests had gone back home is when the real drama started. Him and I started to fight behind closed doors about a variety of issues, we never fought in front of his family nor did I ever let on that I was upset.  His mom was sly from the beginning and that became prevalent issues between us. During your son’s wedding, it’s customary to give gifts to family and friends to your guests.  Some gifts can be quite extravagant.  My dear mother in law wanted to give with extravagance without having to spend any money.  About a week after my wedding she asked to “borrow” a gold set (earrings, necklace and ring) so she can gift it to one of Raj’s cousins.  This set was worth thousands of dollars, it was one of the ones that my parents had given me.  I gave her the set as a good non suspecting daughter in law would do, to this day; she has yet to pay me back.  The following week she had asked for a couple of pairs of earrings she had given me but “forgot” to buy some for the other nieces.  She swindled me out of at least 5k worth of jewellery in the name of love and “helping” her out in a time of need.  I should also mention, she was really upset with me that Raj had got me my own deposit box at the bank.   She had insisted she would “take care” of my jewellery, Raj had said no firmly and went ahead and got me a separate box from her.  She had also started making remarks about my body size here and there.


He was constantly in and out of the house, without much explanation of his whereabouts. He would sometimes arrange for his friends to entertain me in the evenings.  A few of his friends started taking me out to movies, dinners and coffees because my complaining was compelling him to get me out of the house. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without him and I didn’t have a job to even go to.  I had told him I wanted to work and he had shut that idea down.  He wanted me spend the first year of my marriage to get to know his family, so I stayed home for the first year.  He gave me money to spend, so I was never without plus I had turned over all my savings to him in the form of a joint account where he would manage the money not me.  I had agreed to this set up, at 20 years old, I didn’t know any better.  I had talked to my mom and she told me the right thing to do was to amalgamate everything with my new husband, so I did without questioning it.   So now he had taken over the money I had saved (he had no savings), I was put on a weekly allowance(it was enough for me so I never complained), was taken out by his friends once a week(they were fun to be around), stayed home to cook/clean for his family (very demanding and criticized me all the time), didn’t see any of my friends (I moved out of the neighbourhood and they were all going to school),  and I was lonely as one could be.  20 years old married for under a couple of months and I felt like I was married to long.  Basically I had given up everything including my own identity to become a mistress masked as a wife.

Raj and I fought all the time, and then he would at times take me out and buy things for me. As an older person, I now see it as a way for him to keep me quiet about the truth about our life together.  He loved to eat at fancy restaurants; he would buy me nice dresses (his parents disapproved of my dresses) and then take me out once in a while.  I think these were the times that she must have been busy in her life; I was the mistress after all!  On call for his pleasure!!!  I must admit, I did like going out with him because it gave me some sense of importance in his life.  Those times I felt hopeful that maybe I will be able to win him over with my unconditional love.  I knew I was a good person and I had good intentions, isn’t that a recipe for success?  I learned later that is a recipe to get walked all over.  I would complain to my parents about my not so great situation and they would tell me to be kind and practice patience, everything will get better.  I asked my dad to come home and he told me it was too soon and I hadn’t tried hard enough to win him and his family over.  Instead he asked me to reflect and see if I had made any mistakes in caring for him and his family!!!  Umm DAD!!!  HOW ABOUT WE FOCUS ON HIS GIRLFRIEND THAT HE CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT AND HIS GREEDY BITCH OF  MOM WHO CONSTANTLY PUTS ME DOWN AND MAKES FUN OF ME???????

What did I do?   All I knew what to do, cry myself to sleep night after night and hope things would turn around as my parents promised.13183486_1172102602842479_690019116_n.jpg



A couple of days after the my big fat Indian wedding we were sitting on a plane on our way to one of the most beautiful places in the Caribbean.  As a daughter in law it hasn’t been that bad being married thus far.  I still feel uncomfortable as I’m trying to fit into a house where no one is mine.  There is family from all over the world at the house which has helped pass the time effortlessly.  Many cups of chai with daal roti came and went but I had still not given myself up to him and nor had he tried to officiate our marriage with sex.

I wasn’t consulted on where to honeymoon but I couldn’t argue with the destination!   Throughout the airport, people who know Indian culture look at my choorah and give me approving smiles.  I feel like a good obedient girl who was doing all the right things.  The plane ride was long and tiring.  At some point him and I had developed some sort of speaking relationship, I started to let him in my life.  We get to our destination and I’m blown away by the beauty, I can’t help myself but smile ear to ear and thank Raj endlessly for picking such an exotic place.  That is where I think our friendship began.  Raj is a planner, he had planned out all 7 days with activities and I was excited to participate in every minute of it.  I was young and energetic with so much to see and do!!!

The sun was shining everyday, with green waters and beautiful people surrounding me, I was in heaven.  For the most part he did treat me well, he encouraged me to be in the water ( I love the water:) ) I had corn rows put in and he took me every single night for the nightly entertainment.  I felt so free there with him, I guess that’s what holidays are supposed to feel like.  I give him full credit for making my honeymoon a success.  The only negative thing that I remember was a comment he made.

He did the things he loved most and didn’t tell me about earlier than now.  He drank and smoked (I’m not a fan of smoking, drinking I don’t mind).  He made calls back home and he watched a lot of TV while I would go out for the day with my new found friends.  At times he would sit poolside with drinks and food as I swam my heart out.  I don’t think it’s not too uncommon for couples to have a separate likes and dislikes or interests.  When I look back in time, even at that young age I was an optimist.  I had grown up making the most of everything, no matter what the circumstances.

We had hired a taxi for the day to take us around.  I was appreciated the beauty of women that particular day.  I think women are the most beautiful creatures and no two are the same so they ALL must be appreciated for the differences.  There was a woman I found very attractive and she was not a size 2, she must of been a size 12.  She had this aura around her of beauty, I was mesmerized by her.  I made a statement about how I thought she was so beautiful.  He responded with she’s too big to be attractive.  He also went on to say that if I ever got as big as her it would be over between us.  I was shocked he would say such a thing about a body.  I was a size 8, I wasn’t small but I wasn’t big either, it was still incredibly offensive as a women to me.  We went back and forth about his comment and he stood his ground about his belief.

I couldn’t believe that he was so superficial like that.  But then I had to remind myself, it’s not like I know him!  I had an arranged marriage to a man who I met 2 times before marrying him AND he had an existing girlfriend while he married me.  Who was I kidding??? But being so young meant I was too naive and gullible, really I was just a child and didn’t know any better.  That comment has stayed with me since it was said, later in life I realized how much truth he was telling, I guess I didn’t think people were that shallow.  So not only did he marry me while he was living with someone else but now I had to worry about my body and what he thought about it???

Little did I know this was just the beginning of the dissection of my body with not only his words but the words of his family.  I made the most of my honeymoon with other people.  I would take my favorite jet ski instructor out into the deep ocean, I would hold on tight to him and my new husband sat on the beach waiting for my return.  I made different friends every night who I would dance away the night with, all  while my new husband watched from a distance.  When life gives lemons you make lemonades!

Some time during the honeymoon we did consummate our marriage, it was nothing special.  For most of the honeymoon I had my period and then it was over giving us the window of opportunity if we wanted it.  It started in a hurried fashion and was over before I was ready for it to be over.  It was just a physical need we both had it made complete sense to engage in sex with each other, we were technically husband and wife.



Poetry – Venyas Rose

I May Seldom Tell
U How Special U Are,
I May Not B Able To
Reach U Coz We’re Both Busy,
But In Spite Of All,
U Know U Are Someone
I Really Miss & Care About

143 Is Numerically Saying
“I Miss You”
What If I Ask U 23423
Same As
“Do You Miss Me Too?
Would U Answer Me
312 Same As
“Yes I Do”

Some Things Are Left Undone,
Some Words Are Left Unsaid,
Some Feelings Are Left Unexpressed,
But Someone As Sweet As You
Could Never Be Left Unmissed.

Venyas Rose⚘

Day 1 as the Mrs.

I lay awake next to the man who is now my husband, my keeper.  My husband who has another woman will take care, support and love me?  I’m an optimist, laying there I hope for the best outcome as a couple as his new bride.  Maybe I can win him over with my love and devotion… I stare at him while he sleeps next to me with his mouth open.  I think to myself, I have to at least try, I’ve already gone through all the motions my parents wanted me too.  I get out of bed and start the morning routine.

As I come out of the bathroom he is there.  We exchanges good mornings and he apologizes for falling asleep on me.  In my mind I think, thank fucking god you fell asleep!  We both quietly get ready to make our way back home as the newly wed couple.  I get dressed in a new suit and bindi, and put on my makeup.  Who was I getting dolled up for?  No one but me 😦 On the way home we grab breakfast on the go and eat in the car ride.  We don’t say much.  We are rounding the corner to his house and the nerves in my stomach are going crazy!!!  He parks the car and we make our way up the stairs.

He swings the door open and the house is full of people waiting for our arrival.  It’s all smiles, kisses, and hugs.  Oh what a warm welcome into the home, I wish it was like that forever!  We are served fresh paranthas with all the fixings, his aunties are fussing over him and I.  I love family!  We eat and the dishes are whisked away and I’m led to the living room for small talk with the family.  They seem like very nice people, too bad most of them are out of town guests.  After some chai and gup shup (chit chatting) I’m told to go get dressed for the evening milni (meeting) at my parents house.  They are hosting immediate family and out of town guests for dinner.

Raj walks me to my new bedroom, it’s so small for the 2 of us!  I don’t say what I’m thinking and begin to unpack my 2 pieces of luggage I brought with me.  Traditionally a bride never takes anything old into her new house, my mother wanted to keep the tradition.  My whole new life was packed up in these 2 pieces!  He had been considerate of me, he had not used up all the space in the bedroom furniture that my dad had bought and shipped to his house for our room.  Why is that my dad had to buy us furniture?  Could his family not afford it or was it just greed on his family’s part or was that just a normal arrangement?

Before I know it, we are piled up into cars again and it’s time for dinner at my parents house!  I’m so excited as my house nears, like a puppy I’m staring out the window as if travelling down the road for the first time.  As we approach I can see people milling around the house, my cousins running around outside and the uncles drinking outside of the tent.  I barely let the car come to a full stop when I run to bust the door down, part of me was still asserting my authority over my dad’s house.

I hug my sister tightly and way to long for her comfort, she’s not a hugger, I am.  I see my mom and dad, the tears start to flow.  My eyes are saying to them, why did you give me up to them?  What did I do so wrong that you basically gave me up for adoption?  Why did you not think I was worthy for the family any more?  My mom wipes away my tears and tell me it’s going to be alright.  My dad hugs me and tells me that they are only thinking of me and my future, be happy that you have found a nice family.  I pull away from them before I start a yelling match with them.  I continue my hellos with my family with tight hugs and some tears.

My cousins have me alone now, they are gathered around me waiting for the juicy details of the wedding night.  I tell them was okay nothing special.  A couple of them prod for more so I tell them a few white lies that get them squealing and rolling around the bed in delight.  My auntie comes to my room to announce dinner is ready.  We enter the massive tent set up for the dinner, I see “the couples” place setting and make my way there to start.  Raj is being escorted in by his new salis (sister in laws).  I can tell he like the attention from the girls.  We don’t really talk as the girls are continually teasing him and having fun at his expense.  Dinner is over way to soon and it’s time to say our good byes.

ANOTHER tearful good bye, I protest like a 5 year old child, I don’t want to leave my house!  By dad basically pushes me out the door and tells me to go to my house, I fight back and say, ” This is my house!”  He tells me, “This is no longer your house, it never was, we were raising you for Raj.  You belong with him and in that house, they are your new parents.  Treat them well, take care of your new parents and husband, they are all that you have.  Visit us as a guest and you must leave as guests do.  It’s time for you to leave now, I can’t keep you in my house anymore, you belong to them now.”  Those words pierced through me like a sword.  What do you mean I have to leave now and any other day that I come over???  I grew up with you and in this house, this is my life, this is who I am!  They can’t just take possession of me, I’m not a piece of property!! My dad gives me the “stare”.  I understand, he is not going to listen to me, I must leave.

This time, I’m sobbing and crying but I don’t say bye to anyone.  I’m angry at everyone!  Why did they all do this?  To this day, I still blame the bystanders to what happened to me because they didn’t speak up.  I refuse to look at my family, I get in the car, leaned up against the window I’m filled with regret for not saying good bye.  I don’t know how else to let them know I’m extremely upset and mad at them.  I cry the whole way home in silence.  He parks the car, I follow him up the stairs and into the room.  I take my time in the bathroom and get ready for bed.  Day 1 is almost over, how is this night going to go???  Another mystery that will be unveiled in due time…


Poetry by Venyas Rose

Mindblowing Flirt:
Boy: ‘ Hey Do You Like Water?
Girl: ‘Yeah…’
Boy: ‘Good,
Then You Already Like 70% Of Me.’


I’ll Live In Your Heart,
I’ll Make You My Home
I’ll Decorate Your Dreams
On Myself Like Jewelry I
Swear To You I’ll Change
Destiny’s Course If I’m
Able To Call You Mine
I’ll Leave This World..

Venyas Rose

The Unforgettable Lunch

Let’s go back in time from my last post, Choora = Handcuffs. Life is hard enough; I’m not sure why people create more hardships than necessary.   My groom to be had taken me out for lunch about 6 days before the wedding.  This lunch was for him to introduce me to his best friend who wanted to meet me before the wedding festivities started.  As soon as I met her, my gut was telling me something was not right.  I put on my smile and thought; it was just nerves, telling myself to relax.  My body knew better than my head.  This lunch date was not exactly giving me the fuzzy feelings I usually get when I meet new people.   The start to lunch was very awkward and uncomfortable for me.  I had only met him 3 times prior to date and now he had brought along his female best friend who I was getting a “bad” feeling from, not my idea of a good time!

I have always been good at conversing with strangers, so I made small talk. But, that bad gut feeling was just not going away!  She was pounding back drink after drink and my stranger of a fiancé was advising her not to drink too much and too eat.  What good friends they were!  They really do take care of each other!      At some point in our lunch my groom has to use the little boys room.  His trip to bathroom will be the most unforgettable bathroom trip ever for both of us.

While he was in the bathroom his best friend starting asking me all sorts of questions. This was her opportunity to really get the goods about me.  She stated she was really confused as to why he would be marrying me in a weeks’ time.

Her first question was, “what did he tell you about me?” Me, “You two have been friends for years and that you are not attending the wedding but you wanted to meet me.”  She starts to laugh in my face.  Obviously I am sick to my stomach.  She continues,”What else has he said about me?”  Me: “Not much, except that your best friends and he’s not inviting many of his friends to the wedding.  He said you and him are very close and you wanted to make sure that him and I would be a good match.”  More laughter and smirking from her, at this point I’m gonna throw up!  Then she starts talking and laughing at me, all I could do is just listen.  “He’s lying to you.  We’re not best friends!  That’s my boyfriend of the last 4 years!  You are going to marry my boyfriend because his parents no longer like me, you’re the fill in wife.  We have been living together for the past couple of years.  Did he not tell you that and your marrying him?  We have broken up off and on but he still has sex with me.  How come he didn’t tell you that he and I are in a relationship, that’s weird?  I love him and have for a very long time and he loves me.  Did you know he furnished our place for us?  Him and I have a home together, a home where he has bought me everything I asked for?  Just so you know, most of the clothes he has, I’ve picked out or bought for him, he didn’t tell you?  He and I were supposed to get married, but his parents have changed their minds about me.  Maybe you should get to know him more before you marry him this Saturday.

My head was spinning, I thought I was going to die, I wanted to run out of there. But at the same time, I wanted to cut off her hair , punch her and kick her.  I wanted to smash shit, anything that could be destroyed.  I wanted to hurt her and others as she and him had just done to me.

He walks back to the table, looks around and can tell that things are different from before he left.  He pays for the lunch and walk back to the car.  I have gone silent, she is happy, chatting away with him and he is trying to make small talk with me.  The car ride was the worst ever, to be stuck with the two of them.  He drops her off first and then it’s just the two of us.  Again and again he tries to make small talk, I have nothing to say to him, my responses are nil to non-existent.  After what seemed like an eternity, he parks outside my house and asks if everything is okay.  I turn around to meet his eyes and ask him, “Why the fuck would you go and get me checked out by your current girlfriend?!!?  I don’t want to marry you, I’m going inside and telling my parents what you are up to and what you have done.  Marry her not me, I’m no one, you’ve dated her for 4 years!!!”  He begs and pleads with me just to listen.  I want no part of it.  He starts talking, “She was my girlfriend and we are just friends now.  She had said if she didn’t meet you, she would show up at the wedding.  I did what I had to do and you just have to understand it’s for the better.  Please don’t tell your parents, she is gone away forever, I promise.  Don’t ruin things, you’re the kind of girl I want to marry not her.  I am choosing you as a wife, to be a part of the family, to start my own family with.  She is my ex for a reason, you’re my future.  I want a girl like you; you’re so nice and kind.  You’re the kind of wife I need and want. ” He continues with the bullshit, I just sit there and cry, actually I sob, WHY ME?

Even writing this is so sad for me, tears are welling in my eyes. Why did he do this to me, how come I was the target of such cruelty? Why, why and why?  It’s been so many years but it seems like yesterday, I wish I could turn back time.  The same self-pity I felt way back then I’m feeling right now.  I’ve come to terms with my past but I guess I’m still human and tears are there to help me deal with my reality.

I walk out of his car and say, I never want to see you again, you’re a lying piece of shit and you don’t deserve me in any capacity. He’s still saying something, I have no clue because I’m not paying attention to his words.  I’m looking at him in disgust and thinking you’re the type of guy who ruins young girls’ lives in order to please himself and his family.  I’m staring at him, I want to smash him and his car into a million pieces.  I would like to never see this man ever again in my entire life!!!  How could you be so selfish to want to have both women at the same time?  Why would you willing ruin a girls life???  What did I ever do to you?  I don’t even know you, we’ve only met 3 times, why?   I go inside my house, looking like shit because I’ve been crying for the last hour.  I close the door behind me,  my shoes are still on and I yell out, MOM as loud as I could through my tears.

Too be continued…